My youngest child, CJ, is our wild child! He is the kid my mom was referring to when I was younger, and she would say, "Wait until you have kids." His energy is high, and his battery is always charged. I consume insane amounts of coffee and energy drinks just to keep up with him.
Today was definitely a reminder that no one will ever truly understand the journey of autism unless they live it! Every day, I get my Starbucks, and I recently started making it a special routine with Matty. Matty just turned eight, and he’s getting older, wanting more independence. For months now, we’ve been getting in the car—he just started putting on his own seatbelt—and even though he’s nonverbal, he gives me directions all the way to Starbucks!
Today, just like every other day, I ordered ahead, and we went in for pickup. Matty usually grabs the straw while I grab the drink. But not this time. Instead, Matty decided to run as fast as he could behind the counter where the baristas work. I immediately ran to get him, but while I was grabbing Matty, CJ decided it was his turn. He pulled out of my hand and ran in the complete opposite direction—straight down the hall to the end of the store, where there just happened to be an emergency door propped open with a trash barrel wedged in between.
Now, I have Matty in one hand, my drink tucked under my arm, and CJ is standing in the doorway with a giant smile, ready to run for the back parking lot. Somehow, I managed to grab hold of CJ and walked them both out of the store. As we were leaving, a woman was walking in at the same time—and leave it to CJ to reach down, pull off his shoe, and launch it out the door, flying past the lady.
Of course, I immediately started apologizing, and in return, I got the dirtiest look. I get it—everyone around us probably thought I just had two boys who weren’t listening. But what they didn’t know is that last year, we wouldn’t have even been able to go inside a Starbucks. The second Matty saw the Starbucks sign, he would start kicking my seat, hitting the window, and grabbing at CJ. CJ would cry and scream. I used to go through the drive-thru, trying to give my order over the noise, praying the line would move fast.
So just being able to pull into the parking lot with both boys sitting next to each other happily is a huge win for us! What they don’t know is that we practice this every single day. We have practiced for almost a year. What they don’t know is that today was the first time in almost a year that Matty decided to take off on me (CJ is an eloper and tries it every other day). What they don’t know is that Matty, who is nonverbal, just gave me directions the whole way there. What they don’t know is that CJ was just excited to take the ride with us that day. CJ is also nonverbal and gets overstimulated very easily, especially in a busy, crowded store.
But what I wish they knew is autism. I wish they understood how far my boys have come and how hard they work to accomplish what comes so naturally to others. To those judging with their dirty looks—I wish they knew the strength, resilience, and daily victories behind what they see.